10 Ways to Annoy the Heck out of HP Characters
by Cynicism and Happiness
Summary: Self explanatory. If you can't figure out what this fic is about, I scoff at you.
1. Snape

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter

10 Ways to Annoy Snape 

1. Give him a bottle of Head & Shoulders for Christmas.

2. In the hallway, shout, "Hey Snivelly! Yoo-hoo!"

3. Stash bottles of cooking sherry inside his Potions cupboard and whisper to Trelawney later on, "Check out Snape. I think he's got something of yours."

4. Get a huge, hooked fake nose and wear it, strutting about pretending to be Snape.

5. Shout, "Look! It's a werewolf! Run!" and see if he whips around.

6. Sing at him, "I'm gonna wash that oil right out of my hair, gonna wash that oil right out of my hair…"

7. While he's refereeing a Quidditch match, accidentally-on-purpose aim a Quaffle at his head.

8. Gush about how noble and wonderful Harry Potter is when Snape's within earshot.

9. In Potions class, throw random ingredients into your cauldron, boil it down, and say you're a non-conformist to restrictive potion making.

10. Get two of your friends to put on dog masks with you to resemble a bad-tempered pug dog and jump out at him.

**A/N:** Thank you Zackie Chan for helping me.


	2. Dudley Dursley

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, but I own these 10 ways!

10 Ways to Annoy Dudley Dursley 

1. When he goes into a fast food restaurant, ask if he'd like a small salad and water.

2. Hiss into his ear, "_Watch out! I think I see a boa constrictor **right behind** you!_"

3. Call him, "Ickle Duddykins" in front of his victims and evil friends.

4. If he's really being obnoxious shout, "What's that? Is it a plane? A whale? No! It's…_Dudley Dursley!_"

5. Put a parental block on his TV set.

6. Lock him in the cupboard under the stairs and say that he and Harry are trading places.

7. When he's sleeping, try to fix a fake pig's tail on his behind and see what he does in the morning.

8. Put a long roll of pink (or purple) paper in your mouth and let it roll out grotesquely. Then say, "The wizards have struck again!"

9. Mutter gibberish in a powerful way so he thinks you're trying to hex him.

10. Steal his racing bike and replace it with a tricycle.


	3. Hermione Granger

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

10 Ways to Annoy Hermione Granger 

1. Imitate her jumping up and down to answer questions in class.

2. Ask her if Vicky is a good kisser.

3. After telling her any random fact in a conversation, say in a magniloquent tone, "I've read about it in Hogwarts: A History."

4. Steal her books and hide them under shelves.

5. When you open a letter, yell and drop it; then scream about how the bubotuber pus is burning off your hands.

6. Sing "I've got a song that gets on everybody's nerves," while she's studying.

7. After a difficult Potions class, dither on about how helpful the Half-Blood Prince's instructions are.

8. Surreptitiously turn her eyebrows yellow during Transfiguration.

9. Kidnap Crookshanks and hold him hostage.

10. Jump up and down on an S.P.E.W. badge and swear while she's looking, but appear as if you don't know she's there.


	4. McGonagall

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

**10 Ways to Annoy Professor McGonagall**

1. Complain about the load of homework she gives.

2. Let the Vanishing mice wreak havoc in her classroom.

3. Cough like Dolores Umbridge at intervals.

4. During a crisis, calmly ask if she'd like a sherbert lemon.

5. Breeze into her class fifteen minutes late and say you were occupied by tackling a mountain troll.

6. While she's a cat, throw a ball of yarn at her and say, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Come on! _Good_ kitty!"

7. Creep up behind her and undo her bun.

8. Drop hint about the fact that you think Slytherin will win the House Cup this year.

9. While she's sternly walking down the hall, walk next to her, dramatically singing the song that the Star Wars movies play when Darth Vader is walking around.

10. Surreptitiously exchange her glasses for aviators.

00o0oo0o0oo

**A/N: **Thank you to my readers and reviewers. I'd like if you'd suggest the characters you like for me to do in later chapters. Thanks.


	5. Umbridge

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

10 Ways to Annoy Dolores Umbridge 

1. Imitate her coughing.

2. Imitate her voice.

3. Fertilise her pots of dried flowers with dragon manure.

4. Encourage Mrs. Norris that said pots with manure are in fact litter boxes.

5. Make a caricature of her with the face of a toad.

6. Dye her pink cardigan black.

7. Pay first years to draw pictures of her capture by the centaurs.

8. Talk about Lord Voldemort, using his name in front of her.

9. Pretend you don't know she's there, while she is, and talk about how moronic the Ministry of Magic is.

10. Get Firenze and Lupin to follow her around incessantly.


	6. Ron Weasley

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Satisfied?

**10 Ways to Annoy Ron Weasley**

1) When his face and ears get red, say (with awe and feeling), "Dude, your head's on fire!"

2) Drop innocent hints about how cute Hermione and Viktor are and how Hermione told you she enjoyed kissing Viktor.

3) During a conversation with him, randomly scream, "AH! IT'S CROOKSHANKS!"

4) Make up some really gruesome disease and tell him that he has it. When he asks how you know this, make a rude comment about his freckles (I have nothing against freckles, but Ron is very proud of them, so it's fun to laugh at his).

5) Give him a mustache when he's asleep.

6) Find him in a crowded hallway and (in full view of your fellow Underage Wizards) shout, "Won-won! Won-won! Yoo-hoo!"

7) Talk about how dimwitted you think Fleur Delacour is when he's around.

8) Talk for a long time about cauldron bottoms and their importance.

9) When he swears at you, say very calmly, "Tut, tut, what a temper we have. Naughty little man."

10) Turn his hair blond.


	7. Draco Malfoy

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

**10 Ways to Annoy Draco Malfoy**

1) Put a spell on him to make him say over and over, "I love Muggle girls, especially Hermione Granger."

2) Verbally bash his father.

3) Scratch out his Dark Mark and draw little pink hearts in its place (or around it).

4) You can also tell him dumb blond jokes.

5) Get Hermione to sing Boston's "More than a Feeling" at him.

6) Tell him his father needs to pay bail to get out of Azkaban and now the Malfoys are ruined.

7) Also tell him the Arthur Weasley has become one of the 12 school governors.

8) Ask Fred and George to put something extremely rude about Snape in place of the "P" on his Prefect's badge.

9) Spike his food with Polyjuice Potion containing Pansy's hair.

10) Give him fangs and then shout, "What goes around comes around! HAHA! LOSER!"

00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**A/N:** Don't get me wrong; I like Draco, but he's really fun to do stuff to.


	8. Molly Weasley

Disclaimer: I'm not the author of Harry Potter. Wow. I never would have guessed. Therefore, I don't own it.

**10 Ways to Annoy Mrs. Weasley**

1) Verbally bash Gilderoy Lockhart.

2) Steal her wand and replace it with one of Fred and George's trick wands.

3) Encourage Mr. Weasley to mess around with larger pieces of modern transportation in his garden shed.

4) Let gnomes into the house.

5) Make pessimistic predictions about Harry's search for Horcruxes.

6) While doing so, drop in a few hints about Voldemort's wrath and what he may do.

7) Sneak around suspiciously behind her humming "Mission Impossible" and listening to everything she does and says with an Extendable Ear.

8) Let doxies into her living room.

9) Convince Harry to present her with her very own house-elf: Kreacher.

10) Talk about Voldemort using his name.

00o0o0o00o00o

**A/N:** I will do a few more chapters of this story then I shall end. Thank you readers and reviewers. My next character will be Dumbledore and the last will be interesting, I hope. The end is near.


	9. Luna Lovegood

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: Dumbledore does not want to go up, so here. (Defective computer)

**10 Ways to Annoy Luna Lovegood**

1. Call her "Loony"

2. Hide her Spectrespects.

3. Hold a clove of garlic out to her and say you're warding off her weirdness.

4. Verbally bash the _Quibbler_ when you know she's there.

5. While she's walking next to you, scream "_NARGLES_!" and run away.

6. Support Hermione in all her arguments against her.

7. Ask to borrow her copy of the _Quibbler_ and then pretend to fall asleep, drooling all over it.

8. Hide her butterbeer cap necklace and when she asks you for it, say that you returned them for 10 cents each in Maine.

9. Dye her silver dress robes an austere black.

10. When she's wearing her radish earrings, say, "Take care that you never stand behind a rabbit, dear!"


	10. Voldemort

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter

A/N: It's been about six months since I've written anything…so bear with me. School is pressure, life is pressure, max amount of honours is pressure, you get my drift. So…to continue…here is my next submission

**10 Ways to Annoy Voldemort** (with ideas from TheSummoningDark—thank you)

1) Call him "Voldy"

2) Eat one of his Horcruxes

3) Impersonate a Death Eater

4) Suggest that he needs a facelift

5) Steal his wand and replace it with a pointy stick

6) Write "I wish I were invincible" on the back of his robes

7) Stand over him, first thing in the morning, wearing round glasses, green colour contact lenses, and a fake scar on your forehead

8) Repeat number 7, while saying in a scary voice, "_I am your worst nightmare! Bow in my presence! You will die!_"

9) Spike his food with Polyjuice Potion, containing Dumbledore's hair

10) While he is speaking of his evil plans, add your own commentary and sound effects


	11. Filch

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP, happy?

**10 Ways to Annoy Filch**

1) Sell Mrs. Norris to a Chinese restaurant (BTW: I am Chinese – so I am not making fun of Chinese people, but in my opinion, a lot of these restaurants are crap)

2) Plaster frog brains all over his office.

3) Dress up as Peeves.

4) Get the Kwikspell owners to come to his office.

5) Ask him complicated magic questions

6) Carve "Madam Pince + Filch 4ever" on his door.

7) Hang him up by his own chains on the roof of his office.

8) Lock the Bludgers in his office – see how much damage they'll do.

9) Lock Mrs. Norris in a filing cabinet.

10). Pour glue into the keyholes of the building.

** A/N: **the last prank is based on one that some idiot senior did at my school. Apparently, he was fined about ten thousand dollars for it – all the locks had to be replaced.


	12. Gilderoy Lockhart

**Disclaimer:_ FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER_**

**10 Ways to Annoy Gilderoy Lockhart**

1) Dye his lavender robes dark blue, or bright red.

2) Scream like a banshee, then sprint. He'll come running and find no one there.

3) Lock him in a room with Cornish pixies – see how he handles the situation

4) Trash his books.

5) Paint over the numerous portraits of him in his office.

6) Disprove one of his methods of dealing with Dark creatures.

7) Knock out his "card-carrying Cupids" on Valentine's Day.

8) Colour and doodle in the margins of his books.

9) Shave his head late at night while he's asleep.

10) Dye his hair purple while he's asleep.


	13. HARRY THE MAN

**Disclaimer: **I don't own freaking Harry Potter

**10 Ways to Annoy Harry Potter**

1) Stare at his scar

2) Sing "_Oh Potter, you rotter…_" while he's studying

3) Dress up as a dragon and jump out at him from behind one of his secret passageways

4) Cut fanciful shapes out of his Invisibility Cloak

5) Convince Ginny to go Emo

6) Set Myrtle after him

7) Threaten to use his Firebolt as firewood

8) When he and Ginny are having a private moment, jump out from behind a pillar or a door, or wall (whatever you want) and sing, "I'll Cover You" from RENT

9) Pretend to be a Dementor

10) Post pictures of Malfoy all over the dorm


	14. Flitwick I LOVE SHORTNESS

**Disclaimer: Don't own HP, get it?**

**10 Ways to Annoy Flitwick**

1) Use the Banishing Charm on his stack of books when he's about to climb it

2) Explode a feather in his class

3) Talk loudly about a _Wizard of Oz_ remake and tell him to audition for Munchkin

4) Make him fly "by accident"

5) Pretend that you think he's a house elf

6) Steal his pile of books and say you needed them for research

7) Lift him up onto a shelf and leave him there for a class

8) Take Fred and George's fireworks and send one shaped like a dragon after him

9) Eat his supply of Sugar Mice

10) Intentionally pronounce words wrong, especially incantations, when he's around.

A/N: Any suggestions for others?


	15. Pansy Parkinson

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP; get over it

**10 Ways to Annoy Pansy Parkinson**

1) Talk about how amazing Hermione is.

2) Talk about how amazing Draco Malfoy is.

3) Promote Gryffindor House at all possible opportunities.

4) Try to set her up with Ron.

5) Make a love potion for Malfoy that gives him a fetish for Hermione.

6) Dye her robes bright red with gold stripes.

7) Send Colin Creevey after her with his camera, taking pictures of special moments with dear Draco.

8) Look at a picture of a bulldog and say something along the lines of, "Oh, wow, Pansy, you look so _cute_ there!"

9) Look at a picture of her and say something like, "Your brother is really hot."

10) Scream bloody murder when you see her coming, "It's a scary monster!"

**A/N:** keep reading! More chapters later…


	16. Fleur

**10 Ways to Annoy Fleur Delacour**

1) Swear really badly at her and then say, "Excuse my French."

2) Imitate her in an exaggerated way, as in prance around and speak in a high voice with a French accent.

3) Cut her hair.

4) Compliment Hogwarts really loudly, and bash Beauxbatons.

5) Sing Celestina Warbeck's songs at her.

6) Lock her in a room with Mrs. Weasley.

7) Lock her in a room with Ginny.

8) Lock her in a room with distorted mirrors.

9) Threaten her with telling Bill about her brief relationship with Roger Davies.

10) Scream, "GRINDYLOWS!" loudly, and run away.

A/N: Finale character in three chapters. You think they say, "Excuse my English" in France?


	17. The Dursleys

**10 Ways to Annoy the Dursleys **

1) Walk mud onto Aunt Petunia's carpet

2) Lock Ripper inside the "spotless" living room

3) When Uncle Vernon is _really_ mad, scream, "INTERVENTION, INTERVENTION! EVACUATE THE AREA!"

4) Do the berries-and-cream dance in Uncle Vernon's office during an important meeting ("Berries and cream, berries and cream. I'm a little lad who likes berries and cream.")

5) Brandish a stick at the lot of them while announcing complete gibberish in a profound way, as though it were a spell

6) Threaten to blow up Dudley like Aunt Marge

7) Pretend to fly around the house on a broomstick

8) Talk incessantly about Quidditch

9) Talk like Hagrid for a day

10) Bewitch all the living room furniture to fly


	18. Fudge

**10 Ways to Annoy Cornelius Fudge**

1) Stamp on his bowler hat

2) Scream, "DEMENTORS!" really loudly during a meeting

3) Mutter, "Code eight, fourth floor," in an important manner at him and see what he does

4) Trail tomato juice from under his desk when he's outside his office and then scream really loudly

5) Glue large feathers to his hat

6) Dress up as Albus Dumbledore and stand over him while he's asleep

7) Act like Umbridge for a day

8) Mutter rude names about him, "Pompous windbag," while you know he's within earshot, but you pretend he is not

9) Start a demonstration against violence against goblins outside his window

10) Make the pinstripes on his cloak a little more defined with a Sharpie


	19. Crouch

**10 Ways to Annoy Crouch**

1) Shave off half his moustache

2) Pretend to fly on a carpet or a blanket when he's around

3) Gel his hair into spikes when he's asleep

4) Assume his superior tone when speaking to him

5) Get into an argument over who hates the Dark Arts more with him

6) Go to him and say sympathetically, "Oh, Barty, dear, I think your part is off-centre."

7) If he becomes incredibly irritating and sanctimonious, levitate him

8) Talk about various Crouches who may have been Death Eaters, in your opinion

9) Be very supportive of Bagman in front of him

10) Snore loudly during one of his speeches


	20. Lucius Malfoy

**10 Ways to Annoy Lucius Malfoy**

A/N: There's no point having this one as a story…it's going with the others.

1. If he's on one of the higher floors of his manor and near the window, shout "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

2. Grab his walking stick thing and pretend to duel with him.

3. Tell him dumb blond jokes.

4. Paint, "I love Harry Potter" on his Death Eater robes.

5. Write in any black journal, "Lucius…_I'm back_," and leave it open on his desk.

6. Braid his hair in the middle of the night.

7. Walk by him for an hour dressed up as a ludicrous impersonation of a Death Eater and say, "I am faithful!" while throwing yourself at his feet at intervals.

8. Sing Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady," in his ear.

9. Tell him that Arthur Weasley is actually an heir to a large Wizarding fortune of billions of Galleons and see how he takes it.

10. Dye his black robes hot pink.


	21. Dumbledore

**10 Ways to Annoy Dumbledore**

1) Braid a manner of random stuff in his hair (forks, beads, compasses, whatever you like) while he's asleep

2) After completing number 1, wait until he wakes up and say, "My, my, Professor, that roguish Captain Jack Sparrow look _really _suits you."

3) Steal all his socks.

4) Talk like Professor Trelawney (as in talk in a mystical, quiet, spooky voice whenever you speak to him).

4) When he comes into the Great Hall, point at him and scream, "Hippie!"

5) Or, instead, you can say enthusiastically, "Yeah! The '60s will never die! Peace out, Professor!"

6) Call him "Merlin"

7) Style his hair into spikes

8) Trim his beard really badly

9) Give him a box full of the worst flavours of Bertie Bott's Beans

10) Blatantly give socks to Professor McGonagall and the rest of the staff and hand him a stack of books.


	22. Krum

**10 Ways to Annoy Viktor Krum**

1) Call him "Vicky."

2) Swap his Firebolt for a Cleansweep and see what he does.

3) If you're a boy (or you have preference to girls, either one) make out with Hermione while he's watching.

4) Piss off Ron by telling him about how much Hermione and Krum care for each other, then see what Ron does to Krum.

5) When he's walking around anywhere, shout, "Look Mom! A giant hawk! Oh, wait, never mind."

6) Imitate his accent.

7) Impatiently teach him how to say Hermione's name.

8) Lock him in a room with Rita Skeeter.

9) Swing a Snitch, or a model Snitch, on a string in front of him and see if he goes at it like a cat.

10) Adapt the words of "Mickey" for him ("Oh Vicky, you're so pretty, you don't understand. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand…")

By the way, I don't own any song lyrics, unless in fact, I _do_ own them. That definitely made sense. And I'm supposed to be a high honors student. Ahhh, brainwash!!


	23. Percy

_An ancient Rita Skeeter sits at her desk. Now that the __Daily Prophet__ refuses to hire her and her reputation-puncturing quill and malicious books are moulding away in her cellar, she has taken to writing crap about how she can get revenge…though this is unlikely. She figures out ten ways to annoy every single person associated in some way with Hogwarts, writes it down, and gloats._

**10 Ways to Annoy Percy Weasley**

1) Pretend to fall asleep while he reads his cauldron-bottom reports

2) "Peer edit" said reports in bright red pen when he's not there

3) Stick false jewels all over his horn-rimmed glasses just like Rita Skeeter's (there's nothing like woman's taste, thinks Rita, smiling naughtily, but on a man…)

4) Call him "Weatherby"

5) Polyjuice Potion yourself into Mr. Crouch and give him ridiculous orders all day ("Flush yourself down the toilet…Sing 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' in the streets")

6) While he's working sing "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall…" at the top of your lungs

7) Make fun of Mr. Crouch

8) Make him believe that Ludo Bagman is replacing Mr. Crouch as his boss

9) Shout, "Hey, Bighead Boy!"

10) Draw mustaches on his photos of Penelope Clearwater.

_Rita grins and lies back down, wheezing slightly. Yay vengeance. _

_Except she does not know that someone else, far away, is plotting how to get back at her for her evil stories in __Witch Weekly__…_

_And the author here has found a loophole. This is now a list within a story._

_More in future…_


	24. Trelawney

_A slow smile steals across Rita's still-heavy-jawed-and-unattractive face. Her Quick-Quotes Quill is poised above a yellow sheet of heavy parchment. She takes a dart and throws it dead center into a crudely done drawing of Hermione Granger. The dart pierces "Hermione's" heart. Rita cackles unattractively and commences writing once more._**

* * *

**

**10 Ways to Annoy Sibyll Trelawney**

1) When she's into one of her fake predictions, shout, "I KNEW IT! YOU ARE ONE OF THE MUNDANE, IN SECRET!"

2) Come to class dressed as a ridiculous caricature of her, with oversized glasses, and shawls that trail all over the floor.

3) Polyjuice Potion yourself into Umbridge and laugh like Umbridge

4) Say in an audible whisper while she's around, "Interesting look for her, isn't it? Lady of Shalott in the tower meets Stevie Nicks…Trelawney doesn't get much better than that."

5) Go into convulsions and pretend to be predicting. Then smile at her and say, "Fooled you."

6) Scream that there's a Grim behind her and run away.

7) Bring a large butterfly net and try to catch her with it. Then make the excuse that you thought an exotic species of dragonfly was coming at you.

8) Snicker during her false predictions.

9) Replace her weird glasses with Madame Bones' monocle.

10) Compliment Firenze very loudly while she's around.


	25. not a chapter, but please read

I just wanted all readers to know…

* * *

_**Dedication **_

_I personally believe that deep, deep down, everyone has a secret desire to have something dedicated to him/her. And even if you don't, I have decided, because I love you all:_

_This story, 10 Ways to Annoy the Heck Out Of HP People/Characters, is dedicated to you. Thanks so much for sticking with it throughout; for those of you who read my other stuff, thanks for reading it. _

_This is for you who have reviewed nicely, who like my writing, and who've been really great to me over FF. Thanks so much. _

_All my best, _

_Cynicism and Happiness_

And please support House M.D. or Canada at the very least.


	26. Neville

_Rita Skeeter is being watched carefully by a certain bushy-haired brunette. But we're not getting into that at this moment._

_She remembers the son of Frank and Alice Longbottom with hate…_

* * *

**10 Ways to Annoy Neville Longbottom**

1) Keep hinting at him that he's forgotten something VERY important

2) Dress up as Snape and bend over him at six in the morning.

3) Tell him gravely that he has been picked as the new Gryffindor Keeper on the Quidditch team.

4) Tell Snape to extend a Double Potions class with Neville in it.

5) Disarm him frequently behind his back.

6) Dress up as his grandmother and follow him everywhere.

7) Stick Luna's father's replication of Ravenclaw's diadem on his head and tell him that it will improve his Transfiguration grades (read the 7th book if you haven't; it's pretty amazing)

8) Put Sir Cadogan back over Gryffindor Tower entrance; see how Neville takes to his ever-changing passwords

9) Poke his _Mimbulus Mimbletonia_

10) Hide Trevor.

* * *

No this is not ending anytime soon. I'll go until I get bored, or I run out of HP characters.

And I'll stop with the Rita Skeeter crap; it's kind of a loophole type thing.


	27. Bellatrix Lestrange

**Attention:**

This is not over for a while. It will be when I run out of Harry Potter characters. Other than that, I'M NOT ENDING IT!

And don't ask about the Rita Skeeter thing; it was a bad attempt to make this into a story.

* * *

**10 Ways to Annoy Bellatrix Lestrange**

1) Suggest that Voldemort thinks that Pettigrew is a more capable Death Eater than she is.

2) Send apparitions of the Longbottoms after her, never letting her rest.

3) Post Harry Potter fan type things all over her Azkaban cell.

4) Keep bringing up her sister, Andromeda, in conversation.

5) Keep bringing up Tonks in conversation.

6) Impersonate Voldemort and make her believe that he's into peace with Muggles.

7) Cut off her hair and dye what's left orange; you can tell her that her appearance improves with the "Annie Lennox" look.

8) "Confiscate" her wand; say it's a Ministry decree and that she has to spend six weeks in the Muggle world/

9) Curse Voldemort in front of her

10) Poke several _Mimbulus_ _Mimbletonias_ while she's around and then dramatically say, "The revenge of Neville has come!"


	28. Sirius Black

**10 Ways to Annoy Sirius Black**

1) Dress up as his mother and give all sorts of parental sayings ("Don't wave that wand around, silly kid, you'll take someone's eye out!")

2) Whistle at him, saying, "Come on! Good boy! Come here!"

3) Sing the song, "Who let the Dogs Out?" at him.

4) Tell him very seriously that he has to go the vet to be "fixed".

5) Conjure apparitions of Snape and let them roam freely in his house.

6) Praise Regulus.

7) Throw him a ball and tell him to go fetch.

8) Spread newspapers in the corner of his room.

9) Put family photos in his room.

10) Replace his motorcycle with a pink tricycle.


	29. Tonks

**10 Ways to Annoy Tonks**

1) Throw several random items that are really hard to get around (dressers, china, tin pots, lamps, etc.) in the hallway of 12 Grimmauld Place where Mrs. Black's portrait is and you know Tonks is coming. Then dare her to walk down it without breaking anything.

2) Go on for ages about elementary wand safety until it bores her to tears.

3) Send her to a course on household spells.

4) Tell her that bright pink is definitely not her color.

5) Comment on her clumsiness.

6) Make up interesting names with her first name ("Nymphie" and the likes).

7) Call Lupin, "Wolfie" in her presence and see how she takes it.

8) Get Moody to tail her everywhere.

9) Try to grab her hair and then say, "Ooh! Pretty colors!"

10) Nickname her "Dory" (from _Finding Nemo_) and when she's frustrated sing that really irritating song, "What do you do when life gets you down, you just keep swimming, just keep swimming…"


	30. Xeno Lovegood

**10 Ways to Annoy Xeno Lovegood**

1) Wear his diadem to a Halloween party and say that it is such an excellent costume piece.

2) Replace his Deathly Hallows necklace with some form of bling and tell him it's cooler.

3) Wear sunglasses around him whenever he's wearing his yellow robes.

4) Stick him in New York City for a day and see how he copes.

5) After every sentence he says, scream "YOU'RE WRONG!"

6) After drinking his Gurdyroot infusion, choke and say, "How long has this Tylenol been here?"

7) Challenge him to DDR.

8) Tell him Muggle fairy tales and explain why his stories are wrong.

9) Compete with his flashy colors by wearing obnoxious neon lights.

10) Tell him he looks "pimped out" in his robes, Deathly Hallows necklace, and whatever else he's wearing.


	31. this is

THE END!

Dear readers/fellow writers/critics/fans/not-fans,

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story over the past year. You've all been so great, and I mostly got positive reviews on this, so I must be innately amusing.

I'm going to start a new story sometime in the near future. If you're interested, you could check it out. It might not be Harry Potter…due to the depressing fact that the series is quite over…but who knows? We're a talented, creative bunch here on FanFiction, otherwise, why else would we be on this site? My whole point being, I'll try to come up with something.

Acknowledgements:

Skyline Romance – on the notion that you haven't changed your username again, I'm talking to you. Thanks for your support, forbidden as it may be. See you in a month or so.

Shelb – I have no idea who you are, but I seem to remember that you've been reading my fanfics since I started out on this thing in the eighth grade, thanks for your good reviews; they made me feel like a better person through mediocre grades, excellent grades, stupid teachers, science research, stuck-up people, and all the other crap/good stuff in my life.

Stargazer777 – I think you used to be Moongazer, but that's cool too. Again, thanks for reading

Irite4uall – I'm going to assume that you are twins, or friends, or one very odd person who has conversations with him/herself, but I greatly enjoyed your written dialogues in the reviews.

Chocolatereaper/Ginny278/ballerinadoll9 – your reviews kind of interchanged over several pages and I was quite entertained by them all. You guys were really great, not that I have any clue as to who you are, but you're really most kind in reviewing. See note to Shelb, minus the with-me-since-the-beginning, unless you've read No Magic Allowed and I didn't notice.

Anyone else I've forgotten/neglected – you rock

I'm going to make a dedication, because that's what most authors do…except I'm really not planning on becoming a writer…this is just my de-stress thing.

So…dedication:

This book is dedicated to…

You.

That's right. You. I'm dedicating this short set of installments to you. Everyone wants something dedicated to him/her, right? I know I do. So I'm going to do the weird, cliché, I-don't-know-if-you-actually-care thing and dedicate it to you. Thanks for reading everyone!

Support Canada! And House M.D. And as the great philosopher, Tyler, once said, "Life's a journey, not a destination."


End file.
